Mom Ramblings

Random thought: As a mom I'm faced with daily dilemmas. Many of you know them: Is it okay for my kids to wear the same underwear three days in a row? How many times a week can I feed my kids macaroni and cheese with pepperoni? Do I have to get down on the floor and play with them every second of every single day? Will they notice if I just lie down and take a nap right here on the floor while they crawl all over me? Can they go one more day without a bath? If I just lie here for a little while longer will they miraculous be able to reach the breakfast cereal/milk/bottles?

Am I the only one? Seriously? Bueller? Bueller?

More momness (just made up that word):

On No-Nap Monday Jack that little turd, spilled an entire bottle of hippo watermelon soap all over the floor. The stuff that comes out the mouth of the hippo and it blinks for as long as you have to wash your hands. It's green. It smells like watermelon. Okay, it smells like what people that make fragrances think watermelons smell like. In actuality it smells like a 12 year old girl's lip gloss that is really just glorified chapstick. Now, I'd love to tell you that this happened in the bathroom where the soap is stored. But it didn't. It happened in the bedroom. How did it get there, you ask? He left his room and went and got it while he was supposed to be napping. HIS BEDROOM CARPETED FLOOR. How come you didn't clean it up you lazy mom, you ask? Well. I will tell you what happens when you try and wash soap out of carpet with water. It makes bubbles. Lots of green bubbles.

Now. THIS is the same floor that has the dog puke rug covering the ginormous blue paint spill. Umm...yeah.

Crap.

And here's how the conversation went:

Porter: Moommmm....Jack spilled.

Me: (Stomping up the stairs. Yep. Stomping. And then smelling. And then gagging. And then throwing up a little from the overpowering smell.)

Jack: (Hiding hippo soap.)

Me: Jack, who spilled on the carpet? (In the nicest tone I have, because seriously, the carpet couldn't get any worse.)

Jack: Baby Gus.

Me: Really? Baby Gus? He climbed out of his crib and came over and spilled soap. Nope. Try again.

Jack: Millie. (The dog.)

Me: Nope. Try again.

Jack: Doggie. (A stuffed animal.)

Me: Nice try. Who really spilled the soap? (Hiding a smile.)

Jack: (Starting to get that devilish grin with that little dimple) Me did it.....

Me: Duh.

And then all the bubbles. I felt like I was in an episode of The Brady Bunch. Specifically the one where Bobby tried to do laundry and soap was pouring out of the washing machine. Cause that would really happen.