Target smells because of my kid.

I think I'll start a category called "Funny places kids puke". Actually, I could write an entire post about all the crazy places I've puked while pregnant. But, let's stick with kids.

On Thursday, Jack puked while sitting in the cart in the frozen food section of Target. Fortunately that area is right next to the paper towel area. And so I grabbed a pack, ripped it open and cleaned the floor. Then I headed over to the kids clothing and grabbed the only pair of jeans they had in the entire boys area.  we changed him right there in the middle of the clothing section and I held onto the tag. And because he was a little freaked out and wanted to snuggle with his puke soaked blankie, I let him pick out a new one. At least it's cute. Brown with polka dots. Because I know you are all wondering.

Even though he projectile vomited all over everything, he still proceeded to eat a scooby snack that he had in his hand (never mind that it fell on the floor too) immediately after he threw up. And screamed when I tried to take it away....yuck.

Feel free to read about the other funny puke stories here and here.

That nasty flu

If you don't like funny stories about vomiting children then immediately stop reading and go read the fun butterfly projects....

It all started with Tiny G. He started puking on Thursday night right before Tom and I went to bed. We have a video monitor on him and I happened to be checking it and all of a sudden I saw a poltergeist surge of vomit spew from his mouth...it's really fun to see it in black and white. So, we ran in, cleaned him up and changed his sheets. When he saw us, he giggled. Not a joke. He heard our voices and smiled and giggled.  Tick-tock, tick-tock, fifteen minutes later he did it again. We changed him, changed his sheets and brought him to bed with us. But, he wanted to play, so we put him back. Tick-tock, tick-tock, ten minutes later he pukes again. At this point we're worried that we are going to run out of sheets. Oh, and of course we're worried about him. Duh. We clean him up, clean his sheets and he goes to sleep. Soundly. Until 6:30 am. He was smiling and laughing and I figured he was fine. So we went to the gym. They wouldn't let him stay because he had thrown up in the last 24 hours. Unfortunately they didn't tell me this until I was 10 minutes into my run. Bummer.

Nap time rolls around and when I go up to get him afterwards he is covered in vomit. And still smiling....odd child. So, he was sick. I called the nurse line and she said it sounded like he has the GI Flu. Fancy way of saying, "he's puking and has diarrhea and soon you will too." So for him we did the whole pedialyte via a syringe every 5 minutes thing. He went to bed at 7 and didn't wake up until 7:30 am. He took a nap at 8:30 am and slept for 2 hours. He went back to bed at 11:30 am and slept until 3. Then he went to bed at 6. Wow. And now today, Sunday, he is great.

Yesterday I woke up quesy. I thought I was hungry and ate. Tried to do this:

And felt like crap. I puked all day. And am finally starting to feel better. Why is it that when you are puking, lying on the bathroom floor feels so much better than your bed?

Here's where it gets even better! Tom took the older boys to Home Depot to get some wood for the bunk bed project. While they were there Porter threw up in the race car. Awesome. Porter has thrown up in stores before. Once he threw up in the dressing room of a Gap. I was naked. He threw up. It wasn't pleasant. So, at HD Tom raced around trying to clean Porter up, clean the cart and still get the wood for the project because Porter needs a place to sleep....He proceeded to throw up the.entire.night. We're tired to say the least.

So far three of us have been sick. Two haven't. I don't imagine they will last long...

Reality of being a mom

Yesterday, I was in the GAP dressing room with both boys, Jack in the stroller, Porter crying next to me. Knowing what I know about the boys in a confined space I only had a few moments to try on the items I grabbed. So, I am standing in my skivvies and I look over at Porter and he is bent over the chair in the room, and he spits up. I thought, no big deal, and I grab a kleenex to wipe it up. As I am getting the stuff out of the bag, he pukes again! This time, all over the floor, then again in my hands and then again on the floor as I am trying to clean up. At that point I am standing there practically naked with vomit all over my hands and Porter crying/screaming with vomit pouring out of his mouth. I quickly got myself dressed, vomit still in my hands, and stripped Porter of his clothes. I poked my head out for an employee and fortunately they were very understanding and I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything up. They even rinsed out Porter's clothes for me. I did have to walk from one end of the mall to the other to buy Porter a new shirt to wear home, and strangely, no one stared at me or whispered behind my back as I carried my half-naked crying son through the mall..... Unfortunately Porter threw up in the car all over his new shirt, and then again every half hour until 4:30 in the morning. Fun.